Inspiration, Nayunfiltered

Facing My Music

I can admit, when things don’t go my way like anyone, I get mad about it. Usually, my normal reaction is to automatically retreat. To cut people off without mention. I felt like I had the upper hand, control over getting my feelings hurt. In some cases, I would do so just to have someone chase me down. Especially men. Being “chased” made me feel wanted and loved. Why? don’t ask cause I’m still tryna figure that part out. I always been told how childish this was but I had to see it for myself. I had to realize that it was childish and that there was a better way of handling those feelings of being hurt or mad about someone doing or saying something to me. I am in control of my own actions. I dont have to do what others do to me. I can just forgive and literally forget. Forget meaning not letting it dictate how I behave. I honestly now catch myself before shutting down. I face what it is and internalize how to handle it before auntomatically going off the deep end. Now dont get me wrong, this IS A PROCESS so I do go back and forth with it in my mind or even when I vent about it BUT now I go back and forth instead of automatocally reacting..does that make sense? Geez I hope so lol. I am also trying to learn to give more mercy. Give others when appropriate the benefit of the doubt. I say ” when appropriate” because there are instance where you just have to retreat from toxic situations that dont mean you love people any less but….yeah. I am facing my issues…my music. I have a ways to go especially in the communucation front but its starting. Here

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